pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
