you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she told me i tasted like america
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
