You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
