So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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