dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
