I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Still dying that you shit outside
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
