I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
