Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
