im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
