So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize