so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
