Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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