You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How's work?
Spinning.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just pee around me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
