Who did Billy Mays play for?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
