yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
