bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
