Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
