Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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