Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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