i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
