At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
