Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You pole danced in your parka.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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