I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
