Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize