OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
