5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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