This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
