Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
