Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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