I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
