you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
