If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
