Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
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