Betty ford says i'm here all night
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
