every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
