oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
