i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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