oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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