Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
