your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
