Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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