Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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