What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I need moral support for this bender
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
