yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
