Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
