Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
