Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
