U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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