A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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