Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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